[Guru Dev]

NITA by bestforu83

This is the first time i was reading something written by bestforu83(Tushar bhai). Isliye without any expectations just going by the title i started reading it.

Personally mera maanna hai jo story start to end aapko bore na kare, aapko uthne ka mauka na de wo ek perfect story hai. jise padne ke baad aapko uska climax satisfactory lage wo ek kaamyaab tale hai. aur ye sab kuch is story mei tha.

Narration was simple n good. writing style was in flow. muje kahin bhi story bore nahi lagi aur na hi mera interest isko padne mei loose hua. climax was also not disappointing. kahani har paragraph mei aage bad rahi thi, kuch naya ho raha tha, isliye talking about the pace it was well maintained. infact smart editing i would say, where it was kept in notice by the writer that no where reader should feel that the story was stretched more than required.

Theme was good and i felt connected to the story. but the only thing i lacked somewhere was emotions. the story had power to shed tears of reader, which unfortunately this tale couldn't. i am not a reviewer or critics, i am a simple writer. i am just stating what i experienced while reading the story. its not that i was not getting emotional while reading it, but i had to put efforts to feel the emotions of the characters. and i believe tears should come naturally while reading such kind of stories.

Overall a very attempt, nice narration, nice theme and enjoyable story.

[friend_just_buddy]

Natak by DK


i was wondering when DK announced his story Natak for this contest like what would be the topic this time because he always choose so matured topics which is always unique and exclusive this time also he did the same.

Natak is a story of conflicts between a poor but hard working father and his growing up son who is growing up with new lights of so called wisdom. topic was undoubtedly unique but its all about the execution which has some minor flaws to be the the Excellent

i was missing a single line which is enough to show the love n affection of the father towards his work. or if he don't love then atleast showed some 'majburi ' of his work. the" why "factor was missing completely climax was sad but not explained enough to make me cry.

language is decent enough to understand the tale. order of sequences could be better. conversation between all protagonist is good.

overall a nice n unique concept to read atleast for once
all the best buddy

[Guru Dev]

EXBII SAVED by rehankhan143

This is the first story of rehan which i have read. iske baare mei kya kahu samaj nahi aata. is kahani ne muje itna hasaaya jitna mei xb ki kisi bhi story ko padte hue nahi hasa. if we go by rehan's record as a writer in xb, he writes thriller stories. but i must say he is a perfect comedy writer.

jab tak story mei meeting chal rahi thi, tab tak usee ek hi sitting mei bina rukawat ke padna impossible tha. har 1-2 paragraph ke baad zor zor se hasne aur thahakee lagaane ke liye rukna padta tha. infact 2 baar to meri mummy mere room mei aai ye dekhne ke liye mei itne zor se kyu hans raha hu.

As i say, its always important ki padte waqt reader kahi bhi bore na ho, usee content hajam ho jaye i.e. the theme should be convincing, writing should be in flow, narration should be good, and one should be able to connect with the characters. and all this masala was present in this story.

The only thing i missed was a perfect end. but i think, jis theme pe story likhi gayi thi usme usee ek decent end dena story aur writer ki jarurat thi. isliye on the whole i liked this story very much. infact meine is story ko kai baar pada, aur har baar mei paglo ki tarah hasa.

I am sure koi bhi reader bina pet pakad ke hase is story ko one sitting mei nahi pad sakta hai. and this proves that the story was superb. I wish writer aage bhi aise humorous tales likhe aur hum sab ka entertainment kare. for me personally this story is a winner.

ab muje story yaad karke thoda expressive hone dijiye aap sab . and the only expression on my face while reading was

Rehan

[DragonWarrior007]

Ek Jam Aur Sahi

I didnt understand the significance of the title because maybe i am dumb . what stuck me odd was that a story with hindi title was completely in english. i will not point the language mistakes at all and come to the plot. A simple and very well defined plot. its the usual meriaiza style of writing which attracted in this story - use of strong language. the feelings were appropriately conveyed. i thought maybe the pace was a bit sluggish. i didnt like the ending. i dont think that a son can use words like "prostitute" and "keep" for his mother no matter what trauma he has undergone. i always enjoy meriaza's stories and i enjoyed this one also.

best of luck for the contest

[p1lover1]

Ek Jam Aur Sahi By Meriaiza ( Not competing )

My expectations from Ali bhai were a little over the top
Let me tell you why exactly-
*Vendetta was the first non-erotica i read on exbii, and i was blown away by the grandeur and the style of writing! (BTW, are you even gonna complete V2? )
*Love and Dreams is one of the most heart touching tales i've read.

So, when one of my favourite writer here writes a new story, it gets me super excited. Every fucking time.
However, Ek janam aur sahi was a wee bit of a disappointment Thematically, the story seemed relevant to the modern times. Like, the protagonist abandoning his family for drugs- i know a couple of people who've done/almost done something like that with religious stuff. And the pain it causes his friends and family is well depicted. But the reason for his alcohol/drug problems could have been elaborated. And the way he gets his life back, but it didn't seem realistic that everything becomes alright after a few months in rehab. He didn't have an strong emotional reason to get back on his feet, he didn't even have an own personal will to do that!
The style of writing was good. And the way it was slightly under-detailed and extremely narrative in the begining, for a moment i believed that the story was semi-autobiographical!
Moral of the story- Drugs and Alcohol fucks your life up. Big time!

[bestforu83]

Review:- Saamane wali khidaki by friend_just_buddy

Jab Story padhna start kaya to, socha love story hogi. par jab Dugal sahab ne tesri window ka parda hatya, to samane ka nazara dekh kar laga, shayad erotic he. par jab us shakash ne ladki ka gala dabaya, to laga ye to murder mystery he. par jab dugal sahab receptionist ko bula kar wapis aye to, khidki gayab. maa ke anakh, bhotaya story. ek he story main itna kuch.

Writing Style Was awesome.

Narration was superb.

pace of the Story excellent.

A Perfect Suspense Story.

[super84]

Review:

Originally Posted by friend_just_buddy

Saamane wali khidaki

"Suspense master"...... Alok bhai exbii me isi naam se yaad kiye jaate hain. Dimag ka dahi.jamane waali kahani ka ek aur behtareen namoona. Ab to suspense ke sath humour ke bhi ustaad ho chuke hain. Suspense aur comedy ko sath sath lekar likhna Alok bhai ka sab se pasandeeda kaam hai.

Bhasha aur shuddhta ke baare me story me kuchh sochna hi kya. Alok bhai writer hain to ye charcha bekar hai.

Hotel ka receptionist ka baar baar unghna aur uski jhapki ko baar baar baadhit karna.....jiske kaaran wo hero se chidhaa hua tha......Alok bhai ne uss ke khunjlaahat aur uske reaction ko apni story me suspense badhaane me badhiya dhang se istemaal kiya hai.

Ant me ye hi kahunga ki ye aisi story hai jise reader baar baar padhna chaahenge aur sath hi ghatnaao ko apne dimaag la laakar sochte rahenge.

[k2soni]

Review for Nita

Ek achha prayas aur kuchh hatkar. Bahut achhi emotional story. Padhkar aankhein
geeli ho gayi.

Spellings ki ghalatiyaan bahut zyada hone se kayi jagah par samajhne mein bahut
mushkil pesh aayi. Doosri baat jo theek nahi lagi wo thi u/a character ka istemaal.
10th class ka reference dene par hi mera story thread delete kar diya gaya tha.

Overall ek bahut achhi story. All the best.

[friend_just_buddy]

Ek Jam Aur Sahi By Meriaiza


first surprise was the title was in Hindi n the whole story was in English which is an absolutely fine decision because Ali bhai is a master narrator when it comes in English only

this kind of tale is tough while writing n its evenly hard for the readers too to come to a conclusion
story of a loser who awake one day just to commit apology from people he hurt by his deed. an escapist like him can not face his wrongs ever. the best part was obviously the part where son n father came face to face for the first n supposely for the last time too.

i like the climax but expected some more emotions than anger only. language was next to the perfect n to the point only .

overall a nice story with a differece

[k2soni]

Review for Sauda Maut Ka

Contest ki pehli suspense story aur ek zabardast plot ko short story ke roop mein
likhne ka atulneeya prayas. Aur ek baat jo bahut achhi lagi wo yeh ke regional
language mein likhne waale lekhak ne bahut shuddh bhasha ka prayog kiya jo ke
saraahneeya hai.

Ek hi baat kahoonga ke word limit of 3500 words took away the real charm of the
story. This could have been a masterpiece if it was written elaborately in a thread
with proper updates

All the best for the contest bro.