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#71
28th July 2012
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Bhai aajao
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#72
28th July 2012
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 Phir to bhai ek hi baat ho sakti hai ki aap likhte itna achha ho ki 6000 word ka update bhi chhota lagta hai... 
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#73
28th July 2012
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 hindi samjhte hai ye.... aur bhai thoda aaram se baat kar inse... nhi to teri bali paaki ho jayegiQuote:
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  bhai... ek ek shabd se jack shapparow ki jhalak mil rahi hai... us kirdar ko yo shabdo main daalna... itna aasan kaam nhi hai.. parntu jis tarah se aap us character ko parstut kar rahe ho... abhi tak bahut hi acche se sambhala hua hai.... aur ab tak ki aapki style dekhkar hi lag raha hai ki aage bhi sambhal hi loge...bahut hi achha lagta hai jab koi is tarah ki story padne ko milti hai...
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#74
28th July 2012
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  aise hi hausala badhate raho mitra
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#75
28th July 2012
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 bro..bermuda traingle toh ek point hain yar story start karne ka..aur ye scientist bahut kuch dava karte hain ,lekin gubbare ke hawa ki tarah hi wo rahta hain Quote:
 back..Quote:
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ab main bhi custum title me likh deta hoon ..i am not shivam..ye keval story name hain.. Quote:
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#76
28th July 2012
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Nice update. Story is going in right way. A good topic choosen by U. Burmuda triangle.
for this updt. & wtng fr nxt updt.
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#78
29th July 2012
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Update-4
Raat ho chuki thi,lekin ship apni full speed se aage badh raha tha..Riya ke man me Ron ki jasoosi karne ka khayal aaya...woh apne room se bahar nikli aur Ron ke room ke taraf chal padi..Riya ,bahar khadi hoke aas-pass dekhne lagi..darwaja andar se band tha ,jiska matlab saaf tha ki Ron andar hain..Riya darwaje ke chhed me se andar dekhane ki koshish ki..aur jo usne andar dekha uski saanse atak gayi..Ron ne ek ladki ke mu pe apna lund ghusa rakha tha..aur teji se andar bahar kar raha tha..Riya darwaje ke samne jhuk gayi ,taki usko andar dekhane me asani ho..Ron bahut der tak apne lund ko us ladki ke mu me andar bahar karta raha..ladki ke kahne par Ron ne uske mu se apna lund bahar nikala..Ron bade lund ko dekhkar Riya ne apna hath apne chuchiyo(boobs) par rakh liya..Ron ne us ladki ko uthakar apne bikhare hue bistar pe patak diya ,aur ek jhatke me hi uske saare kapde utar diye..wo ladki ab keval bra aur panty me hi thi.. "Ron-janeman..kya maal hain tu,tere in gore gore santaro ka size kya hain... bistar pe padi wo ladki apne chuchiyon ko dabane lagi..pink color ke bra aur panty me us ladki ka gora badan kayamat dha raha tha..bahar chhup ke dekh rahi Riya ki ungaliya uske night dress ke andar chali gayi..Ron ke kahne pe wo ladki ghum gayi..Ron ne us ladki ke kamar pe hath phhirane laga..aur us ladki ki bra khol di..Ron us ladki ko wapas seedha kar diya..aur uski gori gori chamakdar chuchiyon ko apne dono hath se kaskar dabane laga.... Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....pleaseee dhere..aaaahhhhn...uski siskariya chalu ho gayi thi..Ron ki ungaliya uske nipple pe ja ruki..wo use sahlane laga..us ladki ne apne hath se Ron ka lund pakda ..."jaldi se kapde utaro..aur chodo mujhe.." "kapde kya lena dena..wapas kaun pahnayega.." Ron ne ab apne hath uske nipple se hata kar ,neeche ki taraf le jane laga..aur uski choot ko us ladki ke gulabi panty ke upar se hi sahlane laga...ooooouuuuuhhhhhhhh....ek baar phhir us ladki ki siskari kamre me gunji..Riya darwaje ke chhed se pura maja le rahi thi...Ron ne us ladki ki panty ko utar phenka aur ek jhatke se us ladki ke upar aa gaya..Ron ka lund ,uski choot ki deewaro se takara raha tha..dono garam ho chuke the..Ron ne bistar me pada takiya uthaya aur us ladki ke gand ke neeche rakh diya..aur uske baad uske gore gore jangho ko apne hatho se masalne laga..us ladki ki choot ne risna shuru kar diya tha..jisse uski gulabi choot chikani ho chuki thi.. Ron ne uski taango ko phailaya aur apne lund us ladki choot ke saamne rakha.. "please aap dheere dheere karna..bahut dino se kisi ka liya nahi.." "tu fikar mat kar janeman..aaj phhir se ise khol dunga,." Ron itna bol kar apne lund ko dhakka diya..please niiiikkkaaaalllloooo...uuuuuuiiiiiii ..mmmaaaaaaa....Lekin Ron ne usi samay do aur dhakke jad diye,uska adha lund choot ke andar pravesh kar chuka tha..aur teji se andar bahar karne laga.. "pura andar ghus gaya kya,ki aur bhi baki hain..." "abhi toh sirf jaal bichhaya hain hai darling shikar karna toh baki hain.." Ron ne ek aur jordar jhatka mara..Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.......wo ladki phhir chinkhi..Ron lagatar jhatke maar raha tha ,uska pura lund us ladki ki choot me ghus chuka tha..wo ladki apni ankh band kiye hue ,apne dono hatho se bistar ko kaske pakdi hui thi..aur apni kamar hila kar Ron ka sath de rahi thi..uska dard maje me change ho gaya tha..Ron lagatar use chod raha tha,.isi beech wo ek baar jhad gayi..lekin Ron ruka nahi aur lagatar apne lund ki gati ko badhane laga..jhadne ke karan us ladki ki choot pahle se bhi jyada chikni ho gayi thi..Ron lagatar dhakke marta raha,kuch der baad Ron bhi jhad gaya ,aur us ladki ko kaskar pakad liya..thodi der baad Ron bistar se utha aur us ladki ko jane ke liye bola..Riya apne room me wapas aa gayi..lekin Riya ko neend nahi aa rahi thi..wo wapas Ron ke room ke taraf chal padi..is baar gate khula hua tha..Ron apne kamre me baitha hua kuch soch raha tha.. "Riya-kya soch rahe ho ,The Ron... Ron pichhe palta,,"tum kya kar rahi ho,yaha.." "bas neend nahi aa rahi thi..toh socha kyun na tumhari bakwas baate sun liya jaye.." "achchha idea hain..toh main shuru karu..lekin uske pahle main miss. Riya se kuch puchh sakta hoon..." "bilkul..puchho.." "tumne is ship ka nam BALLADONNA kyu rakha.." "kyun tumhe pasand nahi ye name.." "aisa hi samajh lo.." "phhir is ship ka kya name hona chahiye.." "mere hisab se Murdo ka jahaj...The Spiritual Ship.." "Balladonna ,matlab samajhte ho.." "nahi..shayad tumhare kisi rishtedar ka nam hi ye Balladonna.." "Balladonna ka matlab hain,.ek mari hui khunsurat ladki,jo andhere me ghumte hui ,ship ko apne ruhani taqat se duba de..itni bhayankar ki us ship me sawar ek bhi jinda na bache.." "kahi wo mari hui khubsurat ladki tum toh nahi..." "khair chhodo,aur mujhe ye batao ,tumne jahaj ke direction ka sahi andaja kaise lagaya.." "janeman..maine kaha na ki main 200 saal pahle us devils traingle me ja chuka hoon..." "kya...Riya jor jor se hasne lagi.. ============================ "hum pichhale do dino se chale ja rahe hain,chale ja rahe hain..lekin zamin ka koyi namo-nishan tak nahi...tumhe rasta maloom bhi hain ya yun hi mujhe ghuma rahe ho..."Aditya ne apne sath baithe hue Raaj se puchha.. "ye behuda sawal karne ki bajay patwar chalao ,jyada thik rahega tumhare liye..." "ye patwar..bore ho chuka hoon ,main.." "phhir tumhe Martin ke Murde iceland me bhej dena chahiye...waha zamin me dafan murde tera achchha time pass karenge.." "kya..koyi majedar topic lagta hain..isi ko aage badhao..is viran samundar me kuch toh time pass hoga.." "mujhe jyada kuch nahi maloom..bas itna suna hain ki..us death iceland me kayi admiyo ko zinda dafnaya gaya tha..sath me samundar ki shan The Spiritual Ship ko bhi,," "ye kaun sa ship hain.." "kaha jata hain ki jab ye ship samundar me chalta tha toh ,iski raksha Mare hue logo ki ruhe karti thi..." "Aditya-ha..ha...kya bakwas hain.. "kuch log ise sach mante hain...Raaj chup ho gaya..uske peeth pe jalan shuru ho gayi thi..jiska matlab wo achchhi tarah janta tha........continue......... ""q
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#79
29th July 2012
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Nice update.shayad the Ron spritual ship ko dhundne ki koshish me he..
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#80
29th July 2012
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wah bhai bahot ache..ron to bade maje liye..ladki ke kapde utar diye par kudke nahi bada ki alsi hai..
Aur ye balladonna,spiritual ship,mortin murde ka island bade hi romanchak lage discription padh ke........death island pe jo murde hai wo shayad DAVY JONES jo ki samundar ka akhari isan hai uske murde armi ki tarah hi hai., ., mast ja rhe ho dost lage rho..riya aur ron ka jugaad kara hi do..
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6000 words ka update tha...
for next....
