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  #1  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
coolestboyz coolestboyz is offline
 
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Unhappy Obessessed with women, porn, and smartphone. Help me !! I feel to kill myself !!

Hi Friends,

I am in very worst phase of my life. Right now I am 31 year old. Well it might feel boring to you guys, but just read it once.

I was an average student in school. I was so introvert , and lack of confidence to talk to any girl of my class. Because I was so skinny, average looking face , ugly hair style. I was only good in few subjects like maths and computer subject. I passed my 10th board with just 55%, later I took admission in 12th cbse and failed. Then I passed thru UP 12th board and took admission in Engineering College. During this time I got a GF in 12th board to my 2nd year of college. But she cheated on me. And I couldn't focus on my study, and failed Btech exams. So I left the college and passed thru BBA by distance education (sikkim manipal). Again I got a GF in BBA. But this time we were in long distance relationship, and she got married to some USA guy.


But during these period I got better looks, muscular physique. So I start getting lots of request and approach by cute, beautiful girls like Wherever I go like I joined CAT coaching, Gym, Banking, SSC classes or facebook, instagram. Again I lost my focus from my goal and career. And wasted time in dating girls. Till now I dated 15 girls in 6-7 years.

I did my graduation (BBA) in 2013 , after that I never took admission for master degree. Govt job exams (i.e ssc, banking) were like excuse for me to not taking admission in MBA. I was like on top of the world because I was getting lots of attention by girls during these years (that I never got till my 12th class).

In 2017 I met a girl (25 year old), this time I thought to marry her. But she is short tempered, stubborn, and egoistic. So she doesnt value whatever I do for her. She likes me, but on silly argument she just ignores me, doesn't call for days to week. And then I loose my mind. Before this girl , I always ignored girls (who always valued me ) in past who liked me or loved me. But this time I am in love, and I get mad when she ignores me.

I tried not to talk to her for 6 month, But again we are talking, and again she started torturing me by ignoring me when we have fights or argument. I just feel to leave her. But now I am not getting attention like before by other girls, so I am stucked to this girl, and loosing self respect.

I want to move on completely from these women. I feel like I am obessessed with women and I always need a gf for talking and roaming. My friends always say to me, why cant u live without a girl ? Is having a GF necessary? I just try to avoid all connection for 1-2 week maximum and then again I feel to talk to any women from those past dated before.

One more problem I have, I keep watching girls on Instagram, tinder etc. I just keep scrolling for 1-2 hr. I daily masturbate 2-4 times a day by watching porn sites. I am not pervert, I have good female friends also. And I respect those girls as a frnd or brother.

Right now I am unemployed, and feel to kill myself. I can't focus on any Govt Exams (ssc, upsc) because of GIRLS AND INTERNET, smartphone, porn sites. I have started feeling lonely now.

What should I do ? 😐

Last edited by coolestboyz : 4 Weeks Ago at 12:59 PM.

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  #2  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
gowindo gowindo is offline
 
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You have covered a few hidden answers in your question itself.

The point where sex/porn starts affecting your academic/professional life is the point where it has become very too much from normal. That's the point at which you need to sit back, look back, see how to put your life in order, and bring some discipline into your life. It's true for everyone. But in your own life, it has happened more than once, academic/profession affected by distractions, so asking this question itself is a good time to buck up and learn.

You have to focus on your goals. But may be, the goals are not strong enough to pull your attraction. May be govt jobs is a poor goal for you, thats why you are not driven towards them. Then find out what other goal interests you (apart from girls). Or if govt jobs interest you, work like hell for it. The solution for few years of distraction/indiscipline, is next few years of discipline and planned, careful effort.

Don't worry too much about losing your youth and all. You still have many years of it left. You will reach a point where girls don't value your for just looks/biceps/hair et. But also because what you do or what you talk makes sense and appeals to them. Because your caring and emotional approach as a mature fellow appeals to them, (not the hugging and loose romantic caring of puppy love). Also because your performance on bed appeals to them(not the looks when you are going out) . If not, you have to reach there. In any case, whomever you marry or have relationship today, that will be the scenario. Today they will expect looks and everything. But after a few years, they won't bother so much for your looks, once they have seen your dick enough and sucked it enough. Then they are going to seek caring and attention from you, and wanting opportunities to do things together in life, not just fucking together. Everybody reaches that stage. Or they don't know how to reach that stage and find out their marriage/relationship is not working when all the fucking is done and dusted.

So, all of these can wait until you reach a good job and the good maturity of a cool mind and being balanced fellow, who can plan your life and money, job and kids etc.

I am not saying don't have any girls till then. That may be too much from where you stand. May be those good women friends you have, stick to them in a non-sexual fashion for a while. Or keep a girlfriend, spend time with her and fuck her once in a while, but without affecting your goals. But, as you have yourself told in your case, this is already becoming impossible for you, having a girlfriend does interfere with you. So, find a middle way that can accommodate your goals or stay away from serious romance for a couple of years till your life is set.

Life getting set , is also important from the girls angle also. For short-term roaming, cooing and fucking like rabbits, any girl will be okay. But if anybody wants to seriously settle down with you, they'll surely ask the question "Is the guy's life set ?" .

The girl should also ask the question "not only his life set today, tommorrow if there are ups and downs, like loss of job, loss of loved one etc, will the fellow match up and raise above them".

She should also ask the question, "is the fellow stable with girls, will he simply jump and go on fucking every girl he comes his way or will he remain faithful". So, you need to demonstrate all these qualities to any girl with whom you want to settle with seriously.

If the girls are not asking these valid questions, then you know that they are also touch-and-go, fuck-whoever-comes your way types. Or they may blindly believe in your sweet words during fucking and foreplay, and later complain their life is a disaster.

So, first build your life. You only said, first looks were bad, there were no girls, then looks improved, girls came running. Again looks went bad, girls dried up. Now what you did with looks, do with life and job also. Build your life and inner qualities that women find attractive in the long term, then surely the right woman knows how to find you, fuck you and keep you forever.

About porn : If you seriously feel it is hampering your progress, watch the "TEDxJaffa" video by "Ran Gavrieli", on ""why I stopped watching porn". If the link below is not working, google for words within quotes, it's the top result.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU

Last edited by gowindo : 4 Weeks Ago at 03:35 PM. Reason: made sentences simpler

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  #3  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
coolestboyz coolestboyz is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gowindo View Post
You have covered a few hidden answers in your question itself.

The point where sex/porn starts affecting your academic/professional life is the point where it has become very too much from normal. That's the point at which you need to sit back, look back, see how to put your life in order, and bring some discipline into your life. It's true for everyone. But in your own life, it has happened more than once, academic/profession affected by distractions, so asking this question itself is a good time to buck up and learn.

You have to focus on your goals. But may be, the goals are not strong enough to pull your attraction. May be govt jobs is a poor goal for you, thats why you are not driven towards them. Then find out what other goal interests you (apart from girls). Or if govt jobs interest you, work like hell for it. The solution for few years of distraction/indiscipline, is next few years of discipline and planned, careful effort.

Don't worry too much about losing your youth and all. You still have many years of it left. You will reach a point where girls don't value your for just looks/biceps/hair et. But also because what you do or what you talk makes sense and appeals to them. Because your caring and emotional approach as a mature fellow appeals to them, (not the hugging and loose romantic caring of puppy love). Also because your performance on bed appeals to them(not the looks when you are going out) . If not, you have to reach there. In any case, whomever you marry or have relationship today, that will be the scenario. Today they will expect looks and everything. But after a few years, they won't bother so much for your looks, once they have seen your dick enough and sucked it enough. Then they are going to seek caring and attention from you, and wanting opportunities to do things together in life, not just fucking together. Everybody reaches that stage. Or they don't know how to reach that stage and find out their marriage/relationship is not working when all the fucking is done and dusted.

So, all of these can wait until you reach a good job and the good maturity of a cool mind and being balanced fellow, who can plan your life and money, job and kids etc.

I am not saying don't have any girls till then. That may be too much from where you stand. May be those good women friends you have, stick to them in a non-sexual fashion for a while. Or keep a girlfriend, spend time with her and fuck her once in a while, but without affecting your goals. But, as you have yourself told in your case, this is already becoming impossible for you, having a girlfriend does interfere with you. So, find a middle way that can accommodate your goals or stay away from serious romance for a couple of years till your life is set.

Life getting set , is also important from the girls angle also. For short-term roaming, cooing and fucking like rabbits, any girl will be okay. But if anybody wants to seriously settle down with you, they'll surely ask the question "Is the guy's life set ?" .

The girl should also ask the question "not only his life set today, tommorrow if there are ups and downs, like loss of job, loss of loved one etc, will the fellow match up and raise above them".

She should also ask the question, "is the fellow stable with girls, will he simply jump and go on fucking every girl he comes his way or will he remain faithful". So, you need to demonstrate all these qualities to any girl with whom you want to settle with seriously.

If the girls are not asking these valid questions, then you know that they are also touch-and-go, fuck-whoever-comes your way types. Or they may blindly believe in your sweet words during fucking and foreplay, and later complain their life is a disaster.

So, first build your life. You only said, first looks were bad, there were no girls, then looks improved, girls came running. Again looks went bad, girls dried up. Now what you did with looks, do with life and job also. Build your life and inner qualities that women find attractive in the long term, then surely the right woman knows how to find you, fuck you and keep you forever.

About porn : If you seriously feel it is hampering your progress, watch the "TEDxJaffa" video by "Ran Gavrieli", on ""why I stopped watching porn". If the link below is not working, google for words within quotes, it's the top result.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU


Thank you so much sir !! Thanks for your effort writing this for me. You just brainwashed me. I will set my career first, and no contact from woman now till I get a decent Job. God bless you sir !

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  #4  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
gowindo gowindo is offline
 
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All the best!

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  #5  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
newbienu newbienu is offline
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Your life story reads like a CV - stop judging yourself against grades and exams, go out and have some fun - ladies will gravitate towards someone enjoying their life and less needy of approval.


And don't watch any awful TED videos - if those guys had the answers they'd be quietly enjoying their lives too and not seeking attention.


Trust me...



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  #6  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
Just a Salesman Just a Salesman is offline
 
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Clearly u hv problems with self esteem and addiction with screen time. Just ask ur fam doc to refer u to a good psychiatrist who may further fix u up with a psychologist or counselor. U will come out fine after the counselling sessions. (Consulting a psychiatrist does not mean u are crazy, it is a very healthy thing to do).

At 31 I doubt if it is the right age for exams etc. Join ur father's business and it will keep ur mind occupied. Having fun with girls is not a big deal, but getting obsessed with it is no good. Time to settle down and get married and have nice chubby kids. Girls Porn Smartphones will always be around to enjoy whenever u need it, but time is never around, TIME FLIES!!!

I am assuming ur father is into some business coz obviously u hv been spending a lot of money all these years enjoying women smartphones and porn and the money has to come from somewhere and obviously u have not been earning.

Last edited by Just a Salesman : 4 Weeks Ago at 05:25 PM.

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Old 4 Weeks Ago
gowindo gowindo is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just a Salesman View Post
Clearly u hv problems with self esteem and addiction with screen time. Just ask ur fam doc to refer u to a good psychiatrist who may further fix u up with a psychologist or counselor. U will come out fine after the counselling sessions. (Consulting a psychiatrist does not mean u are crazy, it is a very healthy thing to do).

yes, this can be helpful.

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Old 4 Weeks Ago
hotbloodline hotbloodline is offline
 
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Hi... i read whole story of your life when you were in school college and so on... dear major of us gone through this kind of experience you are not all.. i also had similar life like you... First thing first never trust blindly on anyone in your life no one is important and valuable for you more than your parents... dont trust anybody apart from them... they are the single thing made by god that they love without cheat or selfishness.. second all thing are part of our life involve any every activity but dont loose focus think like your career is like ur breath you cant forget it... I have also chatted talked to many girls fuck married woman when i was in 12th standard i got back in maths everybody was disappointed i lost my mother in same year i had long distance relationship too that was about to lost... i wasted my alot of time on internet just day dreaming i will have this car this watch, iphone all things i have passed my engg from below average college.. but yes i studied in college hard and passed with good grade which help me get a mediocre job in tier2 city i have lil good salary now.. now i thought i have alot of free time what should i do... we just have to priorities things every thing will be ok... just keep hope you will get a hot and beautiful girl whenever you will succeed.. dont run behind girls... they are plenty of them but your time isn't... hope you understand now

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  #9  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
coolestboyz coolestboyz is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotbloodline View Post
Hi... i read whole story of your life when you were in school college and so on... dear major of us gone through this kind of experience you are not all.. i also had similar life like you... First thing first never trust blindly on anyone in your life no one is important and valuable for you more than your parents... dont trust anybody apart from them... they are the single thing made by god that they love without cheat or selfishness.. second all thing are part of our life involve any every activity but dont loose focus think like your career is like ur breath you cant forget it... I have also chatted talked to many girls fuck married woman when i was in 12th standard i got back in maths everybody was disappointed i lost my mother in same year i had long distance relationship too that was about to lost... i wasted my alot of time on internet just day dreaming i will have this car this watch, iphone all things i have passed my engg from below average college.. but yes i studied in college hard and passed with good grade which help me get a mediocre job in tier2 city i have lil good salary now.. now i thought i have alot of free time what should i do... we just have to priorities things every thing will be ok... just keep hope you will get a hot and beautiful girl whenever you will succeed.. dont run behind girls... they are plenty of them but your time isn't... hope you understand now
Yes Sir, You said the right thing about parents. I am focusing on my career now

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  #10  
Old 3 Weeks Ago
Dr.Discreet Dr.Discreet is offline
 
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Hi Coolest Boyz,

Read through your message, and thought about replying back to you at the earliest, due the distressing end messaging saying that you felt like ending your life. That was disturbing for anyone to know what the other feels, so i thought of sharing a moment with you and take you out from any sort of mental disturbance you have ever had about porn addiction and their affect on our social life.

Life of a human, talk about orgins, living and future has been carefully developed like an art. All the answers one wants from life, such as concentration, financial settlement and independence along with good social life.

I urge everybody the same thing from my friends circle and people who have approached me in the past for sharing their thoughts. The reason reason for ups and downs in life, the success and failure of one, all is somewhere connected within you on a sub conscious level of your mind. Thoughts arise, it might be negative, or it might be stress relief by watching porn or talking to girls.

You need to read through the benefits of Not Masturbating and Not watching porn! It will change your life into wonders! You need to understand the way of living life, noone is asking you to curb talking to girls, but see the brighter side of how it can benefit you in your life altogether!

I and many have really reaped the benefits of it, I do not go talking about it, because many think its the secret of good life, I am least bothered to care about what others think, they may or may not accept this, but the ones who are succesful are living a good life!

OPEN YOUR EYES, GOOGLE ' Benefits of NO FAP'

I hope to see your reply as to how it brings good within you.

Doc!
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