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#51
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Why should I get offended? All of us who are experimenting with writing need frank views and suggestions for improvement. It would have been useful for me had you done the review in a little more detail and pointed out the flaws (whether technical, conceptual or pertaining to the basic approach of storytelling). A good reviewer is difficult to find and therefore there are prizes for 'the best reader'. Thank you for liking the epilogue. That's my favourite too. Love. Trambak |
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#52
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Pichle VSC me main ye plot likhna to dur, bahut saare ganja pineke baad bhi aisa plot soch bhi nehi sakta. Or agar koi likh bhi deta, to main apne review me kahta, story reality se bahut hi dur hai, aisa real life me ho sakta kya!! Lekin dost, ek kahawat hai ke "truth is stranger than fiction" To aaj ke dinme chahe wo Blue whale ho ya fir Bangkok me GTA game se pravabit ho kar Taxi drivar ka murder...yehi dekha ja raha hai ke yuva pidi reality or Virtual duniya ka antar samajh bhula chuke hai, unko ye samajh me nehi aa raha hai, yaha par dubara life nehi milti hai, bas ek baar me 'Game Over" Isi karan kal ka befizul ka plot aaj ek sachchai ban ke rah gaya. Bahut bahut shukriya dost aapke review ke liye. |
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#53
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#54
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![]() First of all a fairytale means it gives a lesson to everyone Aapki story sahi gati mein ja rahi thi bas use patri se kheench ka nahin utarte. Story ka end bahut jaldi kar diya aur wo bhi bilkul atpate dhang se. Tum dono ka pyaar mein padna dikha sakte the ek dusre ko jaane bina Raajkumari ka najariya badalwa sakte the Lekin nahin poori story ek jhatke mein khatam kar di Narration bhi aisi thi ki laga hi nahin koi actual story ho laga jaise koi kisi R ko mangadanth story suna raha ho (waise main bhi R hi hun ![]() Kahin se bhi khud ko story se attach hi nahin kar paaya Sorry for that bro Last edited by cool_guy1 : 16th February 2018 at 09:48 PM. |
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#55
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Review on My Bloody Valentine
First of all ![]() ![]() God knows! tumhara likha sach ho jaye ![]() Now about the story Ye story ek akelepan se joojh rahe us bande ki jhunjhulahat ko dikhlata hai jo apne akelepan ko door karme ka tarika dhoondhne ke bajaye auron ko bhi apne jaisa bana dena chah raha ho Hindi ki spelling mistakes thi kuch but aapki flawless writing skills ki gehrayi mein doob gayi Subject acha tha but plot weak tha. I know you can do better than that Best of luck for the contest |
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#56
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Agar ye sach honewali baat pahle shunte to bahut hanste humlog, lekin aaj ye ek dardnak realty hai. ![]() Hindi...well ![]() Thanks again dear. |
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#57
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Entry : Muche huwa chachi se sacha piyar (true love story)
Should be disqualified for Incest Theme. ![]() |
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#58
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Dear cool_guy I read your analysis of my story.and I think this time you have done some justice. This is much better when I compare it with your first review. Scathing remarks are hurtful but may be necessary but to use foul language like 'g''nd maar di' etc are something that's surely not in good taste specifically if you are talking about a fellow xossipian whom you do not know well. Each of us can abuse. But that's NOT the intention and we can disagree without being disagreeable. Stories will come and go but what is the requirement of being abusive while reviewing a story, I am unable to understand. I will suggest that you should enter the contest with something thought provoking that would enrich the contest and not unnecessarily use abusive language without reason. Abusing does not make you a cool guy. Hopefully, you will oblige Trambak Last edited by Trambak : 16th February 2018 at 11:29 PM. |
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#59
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Muche huwa chachi se sacha piyar (true love story)
Waise to mai insect story padhta nahi, par firbhi its a contest entry so... Kahani ki shuruwat me, jb accident ki baat hui to aisa laga ki jaise chacha ka bhot hi khatarnak accident hua hai jb vo shadi karke laut rahe the. Lekin pata nahi kyo chachi ko ek kharoch bhi nahi ayi ![]() Dekha jaye to chacha ne apni aadhi umar ki ladki se shadi ki ![]() Flow kafi accha hai story ka lekin dialogue delivery me thoda takleef hai... Baki shabdo ke zariye jo emotions prastut kiye hai, usme muje zara bhi rona nahi aya ![]() Aur last me jo bhanda phoda chachi ne, usme kuch suspense jaisa tha hi nahi ![]() Chachi asal me apne pati ki beti hai ![]() ![]() All the best for future. Last edited by Chanakya20 : 17th February 2018 at 12:14 AM. |
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#60
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