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  #71  
Old 19th February 2018
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vijay2309 vijay2309 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawera rani View Post
आनंद पुलिया by vijay 2309

Dear i love this sotry
Bohat acha likhty hi sir nice story
From me 10 of 10
  #72  
Old 19th February 2018
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samir1 samir1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawera rani View Post
Ajeeb Hai Ishq Yara by samir1

v day ke lihaz se best story he dear

I give you 10 points
Dear....

Ek Chhoti si koshish thi...
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  #73  
Old 19th February 2018
Itzcarl3 Itzcarl3 is offline
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Story by vijay2309

Achi story thi thoda suspence bhi create kiya par bich ma vijay naam ka insan ko kyo ghusaya uska naam kuch aur nahi rakh sakta tha confuss kara diya. Nice try. A small and sweet story. Par unka bich pyar toh dikhaya hi nahi sirf unki feeling batayi. Agar thoda pyar unka bich bhi dikha data toh acha rahta. I will give 3.5/5
  #74  
Old 19th February 2018
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vijay2309 vijay2309 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itzcarl3 View Post
Story by vijay2309

Achi story thi thoda suspence bhi create kiya par bich ma vijay naam ka insan ko kyo ghusaya uska naam kuch aur nahi rakh sakta tha confuss kara diya. Nice try. A small and sweet story. Par unka bich pyar toh dikhaya hi nahi sirf unki feeling batayi. Agar thoda pyar unka bich bhi dikha data toh acha rahta. I will give 3.5/5
Thanx dear carl... kahni pasand karne ke liye bahot bahot shukriya...darasal mere paas pyaar dikhane ke liye shabd he nahi bache thhe....25000 ki limit thhi usme bas kahani aa sakti thi....kher aapki maang par agli kahani mai pyaar bhi dikha dunga
  #75  
Old 19th February 2018
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Review on Dil ka aalam main kya bataun tujhe

Ek pati ka apni patni ko pyaar bhara khat

Pyaar ke kayi pehlu dikhaye aapne chote se khat mein. Pati patni ka pyaar, maa ki chinta, pita ki bebasi, behan ki utsukta

Lekin aap ise aur behtar bana sakte the. Jeewan mein ghati choti moti takraar, nok jhok, ek dusre ko fir manana, bahut kuch ho sakta tha.

Words bhi baaki the aapke paas. Koshish to ki aapne pat wo adhuri si lagi. Aap ise aur elaborate kar sakte the

Anyway best of luck for the contest
  #76  
Old 19th February 2018
theHunter1122 theHunter1122 is offline
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Review on "My Story by Dahiya242"

Ek behtar plot p kam kiya hai, lekin kahani KO sahi tareeqe se pesh no kar paye, spell mistakes thein mager padhi jaskti hain ,
Suspens creat b kiya lekin ussy b adhora chora,
Ek aur bat story KO past me likha Karo present me likhi kahani, kahani ni rehti,
Likhty rehiye ga Q k kammi experience se hi pori hoti hai,

Good luck for contest
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  #77  
Old 19th February 2018
theHunter1122 theHunter1122 is offline
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Review on "आनंद पुलिया by vijay2309"

Pichli story koi khass ni thi, copy,paste to no haina? :P
Lekin kiya hi com back kiya hai,
Superb, lekin beech me jab vijay aya us se thoda pehli thori kahani choot'ti hai, jab ek banda yaqeen hi ni karta ek cheez p to achanak se kaise? Aur us romal k gyb na honey p q ussy.....?
Kahani k beech me laga k he horror hogi lekin apne superb tareeky se kahani ka rukh palat diya,
Aur last me to maza hi agaya,
"Toh bhaiyo or unki bahno...ye kahni to ho gayi khatam...aanand puliya par kabhi aao to bhagwan ke liye rumaal kabhi mat bandhna....or haa aaj kal dhaage wahi mil jaate hai isliye pareshan hone ki jarurat nahi hai"

Bilkul sahi kahan apne,
"Love stories kabhi khtam nahi hoti....hamesha aage se aage badhti he rahti hai.....pyaar to wo cheej hai jo insaan ke marne ke baad bhi zinda rahti....

Good luck for the contest
______________________________
My stories, "Brave! A Revenge Begin"
Wo Humsafar Tha Mera on Valentin 2017

http://www.xossip.com/showthread.php...1#post70619561
  #78  
Old 19th February 2018
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vijay2309 vijay2309 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theHunter1122 View Post
Review on "आनंद पुलिया by vijay2309"

Pichli story koi khass ni thi, copy,paste to no haina? :P
Lekin kiya hi com back kiya hai,
Superb, lekin beech me jab vijay aya us se thoda pehli thori kahani choot'ti hai, jab ek banda yaqeen hi ni karta ek cheez p to achanak se kaise? Aur us romal k gyb na honey p q ussy.....?
Kahani k beech me laga k he horror hogi lekin apne superb tareeky se kahani ka rukh palat diya,
Aur last me to maza hi agaya,
"Toh bhaiyo or unki bahno...ye kahni to ho gayi khatam...aanand puliya par kabhi aao to bhagwan ke liye rumaal kabhi mat bandhna....or haa aaj kal dhaage wahi mil jaate hai isliye pareshan hone ki jarurat nahi hai"

Bilkul sahi kahan apne,
"Love stories kabhi khtam nahi hoti....hamesha aage se aage badhti he rahti hai.....pyaar to wo cheej hai jo insaan ke marne ke baad bhi zinda rahti....

Good luck for the contest
Hunter bhai is kahani ko pasand karne ke liye thanx...pichhli kahniyo mai word limit mujhe kaafi pareshan karti thhi lekin is baar mene free hand likha to kahani kuch alag he tarah ki ban gayi....rahul in sab cheejon par believe nahi karta thha lekin antima ko to woh chahta he thha isiliye usne apna rumal waha bandha....lekin jab use pata chala ki antima ka dhaga waha se gaayab ho gaya or uska rumal wahi rah gaya to uske man mai ek dar beth gaya or wo dar thha antima ko khone ka.....agar rahul ka rumal bhi gayab ho jaata to its mean ki rahul jise chahta thha wo use mil jaata lekin rumaal gaayab naa hone se iski dhajjiya ud gayi...vijay naam ka kirdar is puri kahani ka sutrdhaar thha ya ye maan lo ke wahi is puri kahani ko suna raha thha....mai is kahni ko sad story mai likhna nahi chahta thha isliye vijay ki hasi majak ko bich mai lana pada....thanx again for lovly reviwe..
  #79  
Old 20th February 2018
theHunter1122 theHunter1122 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vijay2309 View Post
Hunter bhai is kahani ko pasand karne ke liye thanx...pichhli kahniyo mai word limit mujhe kaafi pareshan karti thhi lekin is baar mene free hand likha to kahani kuch alag he tarah ki ban gayi....rahul in sab cheejon par believe nahi karta thha lekin antima ko to woh chahta he thha isiliye usne apna rumal waha bandha....lekin jab use pata chala ki antima ka dhaga waha se gaayab ho gaya or uska rumal wahi rah gaya to uske man mai ek dar beth gaya or wo dar thha antima ko khone ka.....agar rahul ka rumal bhi gayab ho jaata to its mean ki rahul jise chahta thha wo use mil jaata lekin rumaal gaayab naa hone se iski dhajjiya ud gayi...vijay naam ka kirdar is puri kahani ka sutrdhaar thha ya ye maan lo ke wahi is puri kahani ko suna raha thha....mai is kahni ko sad story mai likhna nahi chahta thha isliye vijay ki hasi majak ko bich mai lana pada....thanx again for lovly reviwe..
Ager tum vijay KO beech me na lety to story me dum hi ni rehta
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My stories, "Brave! A Revenge Begin"
Wo Humsafar Tha Mera on Valentin 2017

http://www.xossip.com/showthread.php...1#post70619561
  #80  
Old 20th February 2018
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cool_guy1 cool_guy1 is offline
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Review on aaj rahab yehi aangan

Bhasha aur ucharan par aapki achi pakad hai. Bhavnayon ko bhi aapne bakhubi darshaya hai. Bechaini, besasi, sehanshakti, dard, ghrana aur ant mein pyaar sabhi ko aapne bakhubi apne kalambadh kiya hai

Lekin mujhe aisa lag raha hai ki thoda over ho gaya melodrama. 14 din tak wo maarta peetta raha aur jin bahubali ne jabardasti shaadi karwayi thi unhone kuch nahin kiya?

Jabki bhaujai ne maa baap ko ye baat bata di thi. Khair writer have the liberty. Train mein wo dhakka dekar maar nahin sakta tha but beech kisi station par utar kar use akela to chor hi sakta tha

Apart from joke bahut behatarin story thi

Best of luck for the contest
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